Big Time Crush
by cockumentary
Summary: I've seen this done in so many other fandoms, so I figured why the hell shouldn't I write a BTR college AU? It's a corny alternate universe in which the boys aren't famous yet, and they're attending a music college. Kendall and Logan are working on patching up their rough relationship, and all it takes is a guitar and one night for things to feel just a little more normal. (Kogan)


"Well if it isn't Logan Henderson, nerdiest of the fucking nerdiest. Pass this semester with an Easy A?"

Logan knows that familiar, sly voice like one of his old favorite songs. But no, it's more like one of those tunes that makes him cringe yet somehow manages to give him chills at the same time. His attention is directed to the auburn-haired boy who's hovering over his desk with a smug ass look on his face, sort of like he just robbed a bank. It's Kendall Knight, childhood friend of the past who turned into a total douche (but a hot one nonetheless). He also became captain of the Minnesota University hockey team in the process of buffing himself up.

Go figure.

The darker haired boy looks up, but with a defiant little look of attitude on his face, and fixes the glasses which are loosely resting on the bridge of his nose. Damn right he's fed up with the constant teasing and torture that he's had to deal with ever since he was recognized for his so-called smarts. The rest of his classmates come to him for help with their assignments that they're too lazy to complete, and nearly everyone is happy to have his assistance.

Except for one of them.

Kendall seems to be the only competition to Logan's cerebral fitness, and he sneers every time he sees his ex best friend helping out James or Carlos who are both airheads. His irateness almost seems as though jealousy could be responsible for it.

If Kendall wanted to make himself look even better, he could have just helped his classmates out like Logan and gained more props among the college kids. Both boys were equally smart, but in different ways. Of course Kendall decided against helping anyone at all, because things always had to be his way, and his desire was to be known as a tough guy who didn't hang out with nerds. It's always his own prerogative.

Note the term _'ex best friend'. _How immature, considering these guys are in college now.

Envy would be a more appropriate term for the emotion Kendall feels when he sees Logan being good at things and getting attention. Although he finds it impossible to hate the quirky kid he's known ever since kindergarten, there's still a pang of horrible spite deep within him when he realizes that things aren't the way they used to be between the two.

Really, it all stems down to those tough years in which they grew apart. Kendall was more interested in girls and getting into shenanigans. Logan always had to be the better man and pull his best friend out of whatever trouble he'd bring upon himself, and Mrs. Knight was so very thankful for a levelheaded kid like him to guide her son out of harm's way.

Kendall decided that he was sick of what their friendship had turned into, and despite the fact that he went through months of depression after it was over and done with, things never reverted to the way they used to be.

He realized that his life wasn't a game, and people couldn't just be toyed with. If he fucked up, a handy reset button wasn't going to be conveniently waiting under his thumb. He was (and still is) young and stupid. Things needed to be learned through trial and error, and he learned that friendship wasn't a petty thing that could be discarded.

Fast forward to their freshman year in university, and poor Kendall is stuck in the middle of a hopeless dilemma.

Kendall didn't even think he liked men. Hell, the idea even freaked him out a bit when he found out that his other closest friend James came out as bisexual. Of course James's family didn't know at the time, but his tight-knit group of friends did. It was a secret they promised to keep, because as vain as James is, he didn't want to be the new center of attention. People were accepting, but this was something he wanted to remain private. No one blamed him. In time, James was fully out of the closet.

Towards the end of junior year in high school, Kendall realized that he was coveting his ex best friend. Logan Henderson, nice guy who had one of the highest GPAs in the entire high school, was being crushed on by the jock. No one would have guessed it.

Yet here they are, with Kendall's crush persevering for almost a third consecutive year.

He knows that it's ironic, unimaginable, and probably fucked up in a million more ways than can be named. But it's not so unimaginable when he's lying in his bed in complete darkness, thinking about how Logan's skin would feel on his own. Thinking about how his lips would taste. Imagining the noises that would come out of his mouth and the things he'd do to Kendall if he only knew-

_No._

He comes to his senses and realizes that they're in Gustavo's advanced music theory class. Now would not be an appropriate time to cop a feel, because there would definitely be questions, consequences, and the joy of being put on the spot like a joke.

Kendall takes his seat, which is conveniently right behind Logan. He has a picture-perfect view of that ebony hair and the way his back muscles can be slightly peeked at through the tank top he's wearing. Jesus Christ, it gives a perfect view of his neck, too. Kendall would love to leave as many bruises and bite marks there as he possibly could, if he only had the chance. Might as well sing a few Nine Inch Nails lyrics while he's at it.

_Focus, damn it!_

Today has to be national bunk day, because nearly half the class isn't even there. This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on what Gustavo decides to do with the rest of them. Carlos isn't even in class this morning, and Kendall figures that he must be late or deathly ill because he has a record of perfect attendance although his tardiness is a bit out of hand.

James is probably bunking or making out with his latest plaything in one of the dorms, a visual that poor Kendall would have rather dodged.

Gustavo lets them know that they can take it easy this morning which is a relieving thing to hear, except for one minor detail. Group bookwork has been assigned, and he doesn't want them working in groups of more than two for fear of the class not being able to focus.

Looks like it's Kendall's lucky day.

It isn't long before desks are shuffling around and students are rearranging the room to get into pairs. From there, they'll start figuring out who's going to do the work and who's going to fool around the whole time. It's a ritual that is all too familiar despite the fact that they're almost grown ups now.

For a moment, both Kendall and Logan sit there like idiots. They're trying to ignore the fact that they are the only ones left without partners, and it leaves them no choice but to cooperate for once and work with each other. You know what they say: two heads are better than one, as long as they're not on the same body.

It's a pretty awkward situation to work with the person you've had intense sexual fantasies about for the last year or two. Just ask Kendall Knight.

Both are very reluctant to start talking, and it takes a good two minutes before Logan finally breaks the tense silence.

"So..." his voice trails off a bit as his fingers begin to drum a no-name beat on the desk. He can't help it.

"You wanna do half, and I'll do the other?" Kendall offers, still finding it hard to make eye contact with the boy sitting next to him. Then he reminds himself that this is a completely normal situation. They're just two old friends trying to get some work done.

"Wow, that's a pretty generous proposition coming from a guy like you." Logan jokingly retorts with a hint of sass in his voice this time.

"Are you calling me lazy? That's a low blow."

"Maybe. What if I am?" he smirks, flipping to the page that's written on the whiteboard.

"Then I just might have to do all of the work to prove you wrong," Kendall grins.

"Knock yourself out. Don't cry when you get writer's cramp, though."

"Quit being a butthead. We'll split it evenly because it's only fair. Plus, Gustavo's gonna know if one of us did all of it by looking at the handwriting." he says, and they both laugh this time. It's sort of like old times, but not quite. There's a hint of wistfulness in the pit of Kendall's stomach, and he just wishes he could get rid of it once and for all. It sounds corny, but it's true.

His heart sinks when he realizes that he can't just laugh with Logan every day like he used to, but their schoolwork is more important right now. He gets back to focusing and trying to ignore the sideways looks he receives every now and then. Logan is either checking him out or trying to get some kind of reaction out of him.

"Remember that time we did a duet and Carlos ruined it by messing around in the back of the video?" Logan's voice breaks the chain of deep concentration that Kendall had going. It's a weird question that's out of place and doesn't belong there in this very moment. One of them might even dare to say it's sentimental, but decides that is taking things too far.

"..Yeah.. Why do you ask?" Kendall questions, eyebrows furrowing and green eyes narrowing as he starts to recall the memory.

It was a boring Friday night, so they decided to sing a corny song and record it for a change. Kendall played his acoustic guitar, and Logan sang backup. If he remembers correctly, Kendall thinks the song was called _Edge of Desire_. It's been so long, so there's almost no hope of him remembering who the song was even by.

Carlos danced around in the back of the video and made a bunch of weird faces, both ruining and making the video comically better for its audience.

It's probably still on YouTube, burrowed in the depths of Kendall's old channel. He can't figure out what his password was back then, so there's no way he can delete it. But there's one thing that he does recall without even having to watch the video over again.

The way he looked at Logan. The way their eyes met and they couldn't help but smile as they harmonized. Those were the things Kendall missed but wouldn't dare admit he longed for.

"Just wondering if you still remembered. No reason in particular." Logan says, pulling off the casual act.

Kendall can see right through it by the look in his friend's dark brown eyes, but decides against pointing anything out for the better.

"We should do it again sometime, you know? I mean, if that's okay with you." he suggests, fiddling with the eraser on his pencil and brushing some of the shavings away.

"We should, actually. Sounds fun." Kendall smiles, and not the fake kind. It's a genuine smile.

"One of James's friends is having a party tomorrow. You should come." Logan urges, grinning back at him.

"You might actually have a good time if you weren't busy being such a Scrooge all the time." he says, meeting Kendall's eyes with his own for the first time in a while.

"I'll think about it, Henderson."

"Bring your guitar, and don't you dare forget it."

Thank the lord for lazy college kids and national bunk days. Things were finally starting to feel normal, if only just a little bit, for the both of them.


End file.
